it makes my insides hurt

I just got The Help in the mail yesterday and I read a ton of it. I love this book, Cami. Good choice. There are a few things I really like. First of all, the writing in this book is really great. A few parts I particularly enjoyed so far are:

"If chocolate was a sound, it would've been Constantine's voice singing. If singing was a color, it would've been the color of chocolate" (pg. 67) This is beautiful.

"I want to yell so loud that Baby Girl can hear me that dirty ain't a color, disease ain't the negro side of town. I want to stop that moment from coming--and it come in ever white child's life--when they start to think that colored folks ain't as good as whites" (pg. 96) This, to me, is one of the most important themes in this book. Stockett did a good job of summing it up in one little sentence. She is blending all of the colors together and showing the reader that dirty isn't a color. I mean, Elizabeth Leefolt is the dirtiest, most evil one in this book and she's probably as white as they come.

The other thing I wanted to say is that it is hard for me to read the parts about Elizabeth and Mae Mobley. Something I have learned from personal experience is that children act how you label them. A little boy in my family was called "bad" for most of his toddler years. He was labeled "bad" or "disobedient" everytime he didn't make the best choice, or he made a mistake. Consequently, he started to act "bad" all the time. He acted out based on what people were already calling him. Mae Mobley is constantly being berated and spanked by her mother, and she is TWO YEARS OLD! For heaven's sake, two years old. It breaks my heart to read about her mama swatting her all the time and that her mama won't look at her or hug her. Those things are crucial.
So, now that I have a daughter, I try to make sure I don't label her with negative labels, or labels at all I guess. I don't like to say "good girl, Gracie" because I want her to know that her decisions are good and or that she accomplished something good. I want her to know that she is smart, she is kind, she is creative, she is important. I don't like good or bad. I want HER to be the one to label herself, her and her Heavenly Father. I will NEVER say she is "bad." That is so detrimental.
I love that Aibeleen starts telling Mae Mobley, "you are a smart girl, you are a kind girl." I hope as the book goes on that this will prove positive for Mae Mo and that she will start to feel her self worth as she gets older, even if her mother never changes.