I started the book and so far I am finding it interesting. Surprisingly, the foot binding part didn't make me queasy, but it was disturbing none the less. The fact that their culture places a girl's worth on the size of her foot, and not even the natural size of her foot, makes me extremely sad. I am sad that so many girls suffered so much. Obviously, they suffered physically, but more importantly emotionally and spiritually, just because their culture failed to see the big picture. However, before it starts to look like I'm pointing fingers, our culture has done the same thing with body image, so we are also at fault.
As I've been reading this book, the Young Women values continue to come into my mind. I know that it is the spirit that is "bringing things to my remembrance" and testifying of their truth. I've always love the YW values and I have had many experiences that have strengthened my testimony of their importance and reading this book has been another one of those experiences. Specifically, the values of Divine Nature and Individual Worth. Divine Nature...we are daughters of God and that alone gives us more worth than anything else ever can. There is plan for us that is very personal and based on our faithfulness, our actions, and the desires of our hearts, not based on what other people think of us or how we look or how much money we make. Individual Worth...we all have something great to offer. We each have been blessed with specific talents that can bring us, and those around us, so much happiness. We don't have to be clones of the people around us.
My heart just aches for Lily (or every girl who went through this exact same experience) as she is conditioned to believe she has little worth and whatever worth she does have is based on circumstances that are completely out of her control. I'm so thankful that I was taught those 7, now 8, specific values as I grew up and I'm even more thankful now that I still get to learn about them. I can't imagine how girls and women make sense of the messages being thrown at them without the guidance of the Lord through his servants the prophets and the General YW Leaders. Seriously. We are so lucky!!
FYI...in case you didn't know, they just put out another new personal progress book a couple of months ago and they are encouraging ALL women to earn or re-earn their award. You should all do it, it is a really great program. And I'm officially done acting like your YW leader now.
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5 comments:
Keep talking like that, Cam, and you'll get called to be YW president in your "new" ward--and every ward after that. :)
But thanks for sharing your thoughts. We really are blessed to know that we are daughters of God.
I've also thought a lot about mother daughter relationships. Lily's mother is always giving her "tough love," I wish sometimes she would just show loving emotions and feelings to her daughter but I guess that's not the culture. Every child wants to be loved in all the different ways - through touch, words, actions, etc. Its so interesting how this family shows love to each other.
I've also thought a lot about this concept - the fine line between being a mom and being a friend with your daughters. Its definitely a fine line, with good things on both parts. Do you guys ever wonder what kind of mother you'll be in this sense? Girls definitely need a mom for discipline and rules, but they also need a friend for closeness.
I've also thought a lot about how much emphasis is put on the status of marriages in this culture. I think it would breed so many feelings of jealousy and discouragement, honestly I don't see how the Holy Ghost can dwell in such a competitive society (I'm keeping on with the churchy insights that Cami started!). And how about daughters-in-law having to work to death to please their in laws. Crazy! Ha, I don't know if I'd do it!
I had no idea about the new Personal Progress program. Thanks Cami! (What's the point of living in Utah if I have to hear about stuff like this from my friend across the country?) I'm really excited to do it and I would love to hear about any of your projects if you're doing it too.
Individual Worth. Such a valuable principle to know.
Also, that reminded me about a blog post that Jenny had made a while back on her own blog that helped me decide that I was never going to get a boob job. Did you guys see that one with all the ridiculous photo shopped models and such? I won't think ill of anyone who does get one, but reading this book has confirmed to me that I'm not buying in to cultural implications about what my breasts should look like. I nursed my son for a year. That's what they're for.
On the other hand. I definitely believe in the Restoration so maybe I'm okay with that because I know I'll get them back :)
How about communication? All the characters' communication was so limited. It seems impossible to understand your mother, friend, spouse, or even to be truly understood. That causes a lot of problems. Remind me to write again about rational explanations for irrational behavior...
I forgot about all the different kinds of love they talked about and that mother love was tough love. Yike. I hope that my love as a mother is tender. I can understand the need for tough love though. When you're weaning a child, or teaching a toddler how to sleep in a toddler bed instead of a crib, or when your 2 year old wants to have a tootsie pop for dinner. All of those things could break the kid's heart, but it's really better for them to do the hard thing so they can make progress.
That's all for now.
Who is choosing the next book?
I am choosing the next book I believe. And Camille, I'm pretty sure your love is tender. I think I realized that as Nigel was sharpening that butcher knife.
I am only about half-way through and this is a good book. I was interested in the Laotong relationship between these two girls and how lucky they are to have it. Every time Lily wishes for her mother's love and acceptance I wince. So I was really glad she found some love with Snow Flower. Unfortunately, it is this weird kind of pseudo sexual thing? I don't know, that kind of creeped me out. But, this person is like a soul mate for her who will show her love even when she craves it from others. Now, I think something bad is going to happen between them, but I haven't gotten there yet, so don't tell me.
What an exhausting life. It leaves me wondering if there is anything that is happy or fun in their world. Laughing with the ones you love is so important and I hope Lily gets more of that as the book goes on.
I finished the book over the weekend. Like Randi, I was weirded out by that scene with the two girls in bed. I thought it was totally unnecessary. I can't figure out exactly what I was supposed to take from this book. I loved learning about the Chinese culture, even though it was in a semi-negative light. I kept waiting for Lily or Snow Flower to rebel and go against what was expected of them. In small ways, I guess they did, but I was expecting something of more consequence. I think the author's tone is what led me to have this expectation.
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