Love Walked In

I just finished the book and I really liked it; which is good because I needed a distraction this week. My house looks like we have been robbed. Even I am having anxiety about how messy it is. And that's saying a lot. We had a garage sale yesterday and got rid of a bunch of stuff, but there is still so much junk in here. what the what? blerg.
Anyway, as I read this book, I imagined the character of Cornelia as Kim Weed. Yup, I sure did Kim. Little; beautiful; sweet; kind; lovable; loving. I seriously just imagined everything with Kim in there. Someday you will be with a man who looks like Cary Grant, Kim. How lucky. Anyway, my favorite passage in this book was this:

"I sat up and rubbed her back with the circular motion I've always found soothing. After a while, she put her head in my lap and said,
'I want my mommy.'
I thought about those words, how they contained so much more than they seemed to contain, more than any four words could hold. They meant what they meant were also a universal cry, maybe the universal, plaintive, openhearted cry for comfort. Soldiers in the heat of battle; death-row prisoners; explorers stranded in deserts, jungles, on mountaintops; anyone sick or lost of just tired and bewildered: we all wanted our mothers."

Beautiful, right? Mothers. We all want our mothers. And that's one of things I liked about this book. There was so much love in it. People just loved each other. Patiently, unabashedly loved each other. Not only do we want our mothers, we need them. Just as we need each other. Viviana, at the end of the book, says something like a world with only two is not enough. We need each other! I am moving 4000 miles next month. I can't take everything with me. I called my mom to ask if she could make me some blankets since I had to basically give all of mine to Goodwill here (including my favorite one which I'm pretty sure we've all sat on at one time or another at Sunset Beach). No problem, she said. We can make as many blankets as you want. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my mom. That's what this book made me think of. Love didn't walk in, it was there from the beginning. We have our mothers. And we have each other.
How lucky are we?

August's Pick!

This was recommended to me by a roommate. Here's a synopsis:

Life has been pretty kind to Cornelia Brown, the college-educated twenty-something manager of the Café Dora, a comfy little Philadelphia coffeehouse. In fact, things have been so good and so free of responsibility that lately she's been thinking she should make something more of her life. It's as if she's been treading water, having risen no higher on the food chain than café manager because she just hasn't figured out anything better.

Cynical about some things, totally romantic about others, and ultimately believing that "true love is tops," Cornelia seeks succor in Cary Grant films, hoping that one day her very own Mr. Grant will walk through that café door. And he does, in the form of the gorgeous, gracious, and most civilized Martin Grace, who takes one look at her, falls in love with her, and immediately asks her to come to London with him.

Meanwhile, Martin's ex-wife, Viviana, has recently abandoned Clare, her eleven-year-old daughter. Wise beyond her years, Clare is an absolute marvel - resourceful, imaginative, even brave - the kind of girl "you usually find in books." A fan of romance fiction, she is a startling mixture of sweetness and pluck; it's almost as though she has been delved from the pages of Little Women.

Clare knows that something is terribly wrong when her mother starts exhibiting strange and erratic behavior: soon she is shopping compulsively, inexplicably pulling Clare from school, taking her to lunch in a fancy restaurant, even giving her red wine to drink. There's no explanation for Viviana's strange absences or odd behavior, but with her mind gradually slipping and skipping away between confusion and clarity, none of Clare's books have taught her what you do when your mother turns into "someone you don't know, someone who doesn't take care of you anymore."

When Viviana drops Clare off on the side of the road before disappearing, the young girl is set adrift, forced to find a home with Martin while trying desperately to imagine living with her father instead of her mother, and realizing that her father probably couldn't imagine it, either. Thinking, deciding, and worrying, it all becomes too much for the poor girl; she realizes that she is through with all of that: "floating and drifting, she did not want to think at all."

Almost immediately, Cornelia falls in love with the fragile Clare, adopting the role of semi-parent. But in the process, she discovers that Martin is not exactly the man she had hoped he would be; his chilly attitude toward Clare in her time of need has disturbed Cornelia. Wracked by doubts regarding his rightness for her, even though he is a "flesh and blood man," and with the less-than-fantastic sex on her mind, Cornelia's world is rocked when Tao, her distractingly handsome brother-in-law, arrives in town.

Moving between the voices of Clare and Cornelia, author Marisa de los Santos progressively charts the deepest and most poignant of these characters' emotions, revealing their flaws and exposing their hidden insecurities. For most of Clare's life, there has been so much distance between her father and herself, an empty space across which she could send stories, that actually telling him mattered so little - "he was just the near-stranger he'd always been."

Cornelia little by little becomes distracted about the nuts and bolts of Clare's well-being, the attributes of parenthood thrust upon her without warning. Yet she also worries about her relationship with Martin, forced to deny a steadily growing and brutally honest attraction to Tao. For Cornelia, Clare, and Tao, the world holds endless possibilities, but can the house of cards they seem to be keeping up through sheer force of will do anything but tumble down?

The author writes candidly and delicately, thoroughly in tune to the quiet domestic dramas of life. The characters in Love Walked In can little afford to leave their troubles behind, or even live in an in-between space where you think troubles can't find you. For all these characters, denial and defiance is not an option. It is where parenthood and its ensuring responsibilities crop up in the unlikeliest of places.

Only through her bourgeoning relationship with Clare and her surprise love affair with Martin does Cornelia realize that real happiness isn't what happens to you when you "whistle along," drifting through life, ignoring responsibilities and pretending that bad things just don't exist.

Happy Reading!

washington

So I really like this book. I wasn't sure what to expect of it. I mean, I wasn't sure if it was a novel, or like a boring textbook. Surprisingly, it's kind of like both, but awesome! My favorite quote so far is from the gold medal that was struck in Washington's honor:

"Those pages in the annals of America will record your title to be a conspicuous place in the temple of fame, which shall inform posterity, that under your directions, an undisciplined band of husbandmen, in the course of a few months, became soldiers."

BEAUTIFUL. George Washington was even more marvelous than I thought. I'm only at the part where the British ships have all entered New York and are seriously outnumbering our military. Even though I know we eventually win this war, I find myself seriously on the edge of my seat wondering how we're going to get ourselves out of this mess. I like it.

July Book Announcement

I've always wanted to read this. July seems like a good time to do it. How many of you have already read it? If I'm the only one who hasn't read it I have a pretty good back up.

I'm next, right?

Ugh!

This book has been really hard for me to read. I keep thinking of that "conference" of the church when Jacob was the prophet and he had to speak harsh words to soft hearts or broken hearts. I just don't really want to be happy about the idea of pornography being so HUGE.

I keep reading until there is a positive note then I take a break.

I can't read it right before I go to bed or I have sad dreams.

I'm taking it really really slowly.

I'm really happy to be reading it though because it is reality. And I have a son. Oh, and I'm pregnant and I think it's going to be another son. I can also see a lot of parallels in the science of the brain and other addictions I've read about: drugs and alcohol. I guess that's obvious though because the author points out the similarities.

I'm motivated to take a positive and proactive approach to teaching our children about this beginning with "I Am A Child of God." The sanctity and eternity of our bodies. The Plan of Happiness. Personal grooming and respect as well as for others.

Lots of thoughts. Thanks for choosing the book Cami.

What are you all thinking as you read this book?

On a more serious note....

I have chosen the book for June, and I hope it doesn't depress everyone. For a while now, I have been feeling the need to read and learn about pornography addiction and recovery. Thankfully, I have not had to deal with this in my personal life, but I know that the chances are high that I might have to one day. I feel like I need to educate myself about this problem in order to be more understanding, sympathetic and prepared, and to be less judgmental of those who do struggle with pornography addiction. As we get older and continue to have opportunities to serve in our families and in the church, I am convinced that I/we have to educate ourselves on this topic. I think it is particularaly important that we have this knowledge as we work with our children and the youth of the church.
So sorry to drop a bomb on you with such a sobering topic, but I'm hoping I'm not the only one who will find this useful. This particular book comes highly recommended from people I trust completely. My mother-in-law, Christa, has read many books as she's tried to educate herself on the topic and she says this is one of the best. The author is not LDS but apparently Elder Holland quotes him frequently. I can't find the book in local libraries, but it is on amazon or deseret book. I'm trying to give you advance notice so you can order it, if you choose to read it. So....here it is:

The Drug of the new Millennium: The Brain Science Behind Internet Pornography Use
by
Mark Kastleman

"An epidemic is sweeping across America and much of the world. Parents and spouses are desperate for answers. Clergy and counselors are inundated and searching for solutions. It s estimated that over 60 million in the U.S. are addicted at some level. Nine out of ten children between age eight and sixteen have been exposed. Teens are the largest consumers. The epidemic? Internet Pornography Use. Now, via computers, cell phones and even video gaming systems, every variety of Internet porn is instantly available to anyone, regardless of age or gender no one is immune!

After 10 years of study and research with leading neuro-scientists, and direct interaction with more than 10,000 families, renowned author, researcher and speaker Mark B. Kastleman brings the world his groundbreaking work. Rather than approaching this controversial issue from the traditional moral or religious angle, Mark sticks to the facts the brain science behind Internet pornography use. For example:

Internet porn triggers a flood-release of potent neuro-chemicals in the brain virtually identical to illicit street drugs. Porn use is substance-abuse a drug addiction.

Internet pornography radically alters the brain at cellular level, dramatically impacting attitudes and behaviors.

Most importantly, in addition to cutting-edge brain science, Mark provides parents, spouses, clergy and counselors with the 3 Power Principles guaranteed to protect children, marriages and families tested and proven practical solutions to prevent addiction to this super-drug.

This remarkable, comprehensive guidebook gives people the straight-forward, no-nonsense answers and practical solutions they've been searching for."

On a lighter note...Do you realize that we've been doing this book club for a year and a half?! We are awesome!! I love you all!

Sympathy or No Sympathy???

I still have a little bit left in the book, but I just thought I would throw this out there. Is anyone else having conflicted feelings about feeling sorry for Max?! I usually find in these books about WWII that it's always so easy to feel sad for the Jewish people and the whole situation, and I still do here, but it's a little different. Max was super selfish and totally abandoned his mother. What in the world? Knowing the way I feel about my mom, there is no way I could ever do that. So I was talking with my sister-in-law about this and wondering what I would have been like if I had been there during this time. Would it have just been every man for himself? What if I were German...would I have hid people in my house and risked everything? It's so easy to say yes now, but I wonder. So my question is...sympathy...or no sympathy? He left the people he loved behind to save himself. I think the gospel and knowing what we do about families gives us a different perspective and we probably know exactly what we would do in that situation, which makes it all the more difficult for me to feel sorry for Max. It kind of changes the tone of the book for me because I can feel this inner struggle about what happens to him when I read.
On a different note...I love that it is written from death's point of view. Awesome! I love that the whole thing is about finding a love of reading. Different experiences really do change things for people. I think it took me until my senior year with Crime and Punishment to really love and appreciate reading like I do now. If only I had found a grave digger's handbook when I was younger...